The IJP (Internal Job Posting)

It all started with the announcement of IJP(Internal Job Posting) for the post of Quality Analyst. It’s my goal to become a QA so, I applied. Dinesh was happy with his OT money, incentives so he never did give a thought for any IJPs that were posted in the past. However, after becoming Aux QA for a short period and then becoming an SME, determined to become a QA. It’s not only we, who applied for the post, but Likitha, Sandeep and many others. Being of same tenure as QA and SMEs, Likitha and Sandeep were Strong contenders for this post.

Dinesh always believed that I and he are the most suitable candidates for the post. He feared that Sandeep and Likitha being close to the Manager could get through the interview effortlessly and on the other hand we being not so close to Manager may never make it. As we were discussing it, I casually said ‘let’s take help of some goondas to threaten the Manager so he selects us.’ Suddenly something struck Dinesh’s mind. How about doing it the other way? I could not understand. He then explained, we will call Manager through someone and threaten him on behalf of Sandeep and Likitha. Dinesh knew that our Manager being a localite will not pay any heed for such things. He was damn sure that this is going to work the way he thought. Having received threatening calls on behalf of them he will never consider them even though they clear the interviews.

To work out the plan we approached Mushtaq, proprietor, cook, server (All in one) of Shivaji Nagar’s Bismilla Hotel. Mushtaq initially did not agree to call, but we, profoundly impressed by his Shivaji Nagar accent of Kannada, successful in persuading him; after all, we are his hotel’s regular customers. On Sunday we called our Manager from an STD booth. This is how the conversation went:

Mushtaq first said politely “ Is this Mahesh Reddygaru?”

“Yes, who’s this?” Our Manager said in Kannada.

“I am Sandeep’s brother, I mean he is like my brother. He was telling me that he had applied for a job and was telling it’s very important for him. I request, you please select him.”

Our Manager got angry for having to spend time for a call related to office matters on his off day. He said “If he is interested, tell him to come prepared for the interview and do it in proper way than approaching others to request me to get the post.”

This is exactly what we were looking for. Mushtaq then said in local Kannada mixing a lot of Urdu “ Tu jaantha nahi kis se baath kar raa karke. Main chahana aaj heech tera taang thudwatha hoo. Theek se sun, tu Sandeep aur uske girl friend Likitha ko hi select karna. Nahi tho tera kya hoga main guarantee nahi detha.”

Mahesh Reddy don’t understand Hindi/Urdu. However, from the tone Mushtaq was speaking in, it’s enough for him to make out the meaning. He then said “I am born and brought up in Bangalore, let me see who has the guts to touch me. And, tell Sandeep and his girl friend, better forget they have even applied for the post.”

Mushtaq uttered some abuse and Mahesh Reddy hung up the phone. The real drama started the next day at office.

Sandeep being Manager’s chaheetha (beloved) considered it’s his first of the duties to greet Manager on coming to office. On seeing Sandeep, he smiled back and asked “Hey Sandeep, I didn’t know that you have underworld connections too.”

Not finding relevance of the statement by Manager, confused Sandeep stared at him with a question mark on face. To answer, Manager said “Your brother Mushtaq called yesterday and warned me of the consequences if I don’t take you and your Girl friend Likitha for QE posts.”

Now Sandeep double confused and replied I don’t know any Mushtaq and Likitha is not girl friend but just a colleague Sir. Is something wrong Sir?. Seeing the look on his face and the way he asked this question Mahesh’s temper raised. Don’t act smart Sandeep, I know you are from this city and know a lot of people here. But, that doesn’t mean I will be scared by some XYZ’s call.

Sandeep “Sir, I guess, I should leave now, see you tomorrow”

The writers of this script, I and Dinesh were completely aware what’s gonna happen today, were eagerly waiting for our chance outside Manager’s cabin and seeing the opportunity missing, rushed in and greeted Mahesh, Dinesh at the same time pulled Sandeep back to cabin ensuring Sandeep felt it casual. Seeing the grim face, I asked Mahesh, while Dinesh was taking all care that Sandeep doesn’t miss from the scene, “Sir, it’s the day after week offs and you are looking serious, has something went wrong?”

You people proved me wrong; I thought you all are capable of something, but not this way. Seeing Sandeep silent, Dinesh pinned him “what’s the matter buddy?”

Dinesh, “Mahesh says I threatened him through someone to take me and Likitha for the QE post. Firstly, I am capable of getting this job on my own and secondly, why would I do something on behalf of Likitha. That is nonsense.

Mahesh burst out, “now you have the guts to call me nonsense in front of me.”

Sandeep “er… Sir I…. I….didn’t….”

Dinesh budged in again, “Sandeep, we know you have contacts with Goondas of your area, but you bring them to office and threaten our Manager… not acceptable”

Sandeep started breathing heavily after this “you idiot, what are you saying? Why would I bring goondas to office? Have you all lost your minds?”

Danny (Likitha’s real boyfriend) entered in and Likitha followed him. Likitha….cheerful as always wished all and shrugged eyebrows at Dinesh sensing the grim situation.

Mahesh said “Likitha, I hope you are not involved in taking Mushtaq bhai’s assistance to threaten me.”

Likitha. “Who’s Mushtaq and how do I know him?”

I took my chance to spice up the scenario. Mahesh is saying that someone by name Mushtaq called him yesterday and threatened Mahesh to take Sandeep and you for the QE post. Mahesh says that the caller mentioned you are Sandeep’s girl friend and hence should take you both for the QE post. After saying this I did sense the fire in the eyes of Danny. Revolted Danny shouted at Sandeep, idiot, from when Likitha is your girl friend. To calm Danny Likitha said, Sandeep mustn’t have done so, there’s something wrong.

Danny “great, that proves something really is not as it appears. I trusted you and now you…..” Danny could not speak more. To ensure Sandeep doesn’t provide a convincing answer, Dinesh involved him in a related conversation. That irritated Sandeep. Frustrated, Sandeep shouted “has eveyone here gone mad?”

Mahesh shouted back, you moron get out from my sight or else I will call the security.

So, that’s Dinesh and Rajiv’s version of story. Let me tell you the next part. While everyone was in tense mood, these two idiots were enjoying the situation and it didn’t take much time to sense who’s behind this all, after all Mahesh has been a Manager for years and handled hundreds of teams. He turned at Rajiv and said “Mushtaq called be today morning also. Did you meet him by any chance?”

Suddenly the smile vanished off both Dinesh and Rajiv’s faces. Rest is not very interesting. Dinesh and Rajiv are now out of the company and these days they are found around TV studios. These stupid fellows think this idiotic story a wonderful script for a Tele-film and are hunting for producers. Are you by any chance interested in investing for a Telefilm?

Lastly, I have a request, just don't pass on this link to Sandeep or Likitha, if you do, please take the responsibility of writing obituary for me on the same page here.

- Nagaraj